The Ora Experience so far….

As you know from my last blog post, I recently had my first session of a new therapy a friend of mine has started. So much has happened since I had this therapy I just had to write about it, also I am hoping this should cover some of the homework (Tanya?)

I came away from the first session with a whole new sensation in my body, the only way I can think to describe it is like a bubbling, to the point of bursting with a mixture of excitement and a real positive feeling, it’s a bit like when you’ve bought someone a gift and you know they are going to love it, an excited anticipation.

The first noticeable thing that happened, was the day after my first session. I woke up all snuggled in bed feeling what can only be described as content. I thought to myself, “I could really do with a couple more days off and start the new job on Monday” I got up, made some tea and tended to the boyfriend, who had come down with a deadly bout of man flu (a cold). A while later I got a text message from my friend who I was going to work with saying that they made need to delay my start date due to the snow and people not being able to get in. Blimey, I’d only thought about this this morning, the snow hadn’t even been bad the day before.

I spent my day writing and doing little odd jobs, I felt full of enthusiasm and with the principles I’d been given to try out in mind, I found I was noticing quite quickly if I was about to judge, I found myself, rather than focusing on someones dodgy hairstyle or dress sense on TV, finding something positive and actually vocalising it “I like her nail colour” for example. I instantly felt better, this was weird.

My friend text me that afternoon to confirm that my new start date was to be on Monday, well this was going well, I had been reading one of the books Tanya had told me to read and in that it said that you should not doubt things and believe that everything is coincidence, so I thought, you know what, I wanted this and that’s why it’s happened.

The ultimate test came later that evening, when my sainsburys shopping delivery was cancelled 45 minutes after it was due to be delivered. I had no bread in the house and the food I’d planned to have for dinner was in the delivery. My immediate reaction would usually be to be annoyed and throw a hissy fit, but I didn’t, I felt oddly calm. We had food in the cupboards and if need be I could put my wellies on and walk up the shops and get some bread, bread wasnt the centre of the universe anyway, wine is. I picked up my phone, went online and emailed Sainsburys and arranged for the next available slot, which was Friday morning. I noticed that the delivery charge for this slot was £5 more, so I just emailed sainsburys and asked for them to refund the difference. Sorted, along with a dominoes pizza order which is definitely not on the slimming world plan! Oops. But still, I didnt complain, I didnt even get upset (alright the pizza might have helped) I just did something I never ever do. I took it in my stride! ME, I’ve never even taken my stride in my stride before!! Not without worrying about it first.

The following day, the boyfriends man flu had dissipated (slightly) and he went back to work. I was supposed to be having the first of my hen do’s the following day, it was just a small group of us for a couple of people who couldn’t make the main one, it was in London and I thought to myself, I don’t really fancy trekking all the way into London tomorrow. When the original plans had been made I was going to have been at work so it wouldn’t have been far for me to travel at all, but I really wanted to take this time off to relax, I had a really busy week last week and would have another busy week next week.

Later that day one of the girls messaged me saying she may not make it because she may have difficulty travelling in, but to go ahead without her. I said we should wait and see what the weather is saying as we may all have problems getting there. Could this really be another thing I have “manifested”?

Sainsburys also called me to confirm they had refunded the extra money on my delivery, lovely thank you very much.

I was also feeling guilty about my dominoes binge the night before so I decided I must do better today, I had already got up and completed a HIIT session that morning and that had really set me up for the day. The only way I could describe my current mindset is “At peace” Now for those of you that have read my other blogs, you will know I’m much more in pieces than at peace! So this was a very welcome first.

I went to bed that night with a few scoops of (low-calorie) salted caramel ice cream (delish by the way) and a smile on my face. Oh and something else happened, I love to be stroked (pretty sure I was a dog in a former life) I am always pestering my boyfriend to stroke my arm, face, hair whatever, to the point where he now refers to me as a strokeponce. He never EVER does this unless it’s requested, so imagine my surprise as I am in bed reading (the latest Rachel Abbott novel if anyones interested, it’s really good!) he started stroking my hair!!! At first I was like WTAF? But then I just gave a little smile to my strokeponce self and said nothing, if I did he might stop!!

I woke up the following morning feeling groggy, it would appear I have contracted the man flu from my boyfriend, (I was a bit bunged up and headachey, not falling out of my bed muttering about funeral plans as some people do – no names mentioned) I did my 3 things to be grateful for in my head, as I had been each morning since my session and came downstairs to make myself a cup of tea.

The sainsburys shopping arrived later that morning, Hurrah, I was looking forward to having a sausage and egg sandwich. I thanked the delivery girl for being out in this weather, which I realised afterwards I genuinely meant, I really was grateful that she had delivered my food. I put the (low-fat) sausages in the oven (sainsburys reduced fat are yum by the way) whilst I unpacked the rest of my shopping, hang on, where’s the bread?? How am I going to have a sandwich? Dammit it wasnt on the receipt, I was certain I had ordered it! I messaged the boyfriend and ask if he could pick some up on his way home and I said I would have to have a bagel instead, I was just about to complain to him how bad bagels were on Slimming World (11 syns for those of you wondering) when I stopped myself, instead of complaining, what could I have instead? So I ended up with rather delicious half english breakfast, as I like to call it. Oven cooked sausages, grilled bacon, scrambled egg & mushrooms, much better than a sausage sandwich indeed and much more slimming world friendly.

The post arrived and there was what looked like a card addressed to me, odd, someones a month early for my birthday? When I opened it it was a good luck card from my best friend, I was genuinely touched, I actually felt really thankful and it was a lovely feeling, I popped the card up and sent her a message saying thank you and that it was a nice surprise. I opened the other letter addressed to me, from my bank. They are going to reduce my overdraft by £700 on April 2nd. I’ve had these letters before, this happens regularly and even though I know the process it still stresses me out, makes me angry and I usually have a bit of an internal melt down. Not today, I read the letter calmly, decided I would give them a call later to arrange to pay this off monthly, which is how it usually worked, and I would give it no more thought. Who am I?

Then I got a message from my friend, his girlfriend just had their first baby and he wanted to do something nice for mother’s day for her. This is my idea of heaven, I love finding nice things for people to do and helping them buy gifts, if this was an actual job I would be the best at this! I sent over some ideas, which he loved and again felt a lovely warm feeling inside, grateful that my friend came to me and happy that I could help.

Saturday morning I woke up and feeling like I was diluted, it was our weekend to have the kids and because of the weather the boyfriend agreed to pick them up on Saturday morning. I woke up feeling groggy, having had a few glasses of red wine the night before, I was so busy thinking about how rubbish I was feeling I totally forgot to do my gratitude first thing, oops. The kids arrived and brought the usual noise into my peaceful house, I started to feel resentful as I made myself a cup of tea, there was mess everywhere already and the sofa was taken over as they fired up the Playstation, leaving me nowhere to sit, I was desperately trying to avoid feeling negative as I wanted to avoid any negative emotions so I came upstairs and re-read the principles that had been given to me as part of the therapy, this helped me to gain some perspective and I did some tidying up upstairs. I find this helps clear my mind sometimes and can help distract me from my thoughts. I wasn’t enjoying this feeling, I missed that fizzy excitement of the last few days and was scrabbling around trying to get it back somehow…maybe some food would help, now we had some bread in the house, maybe it was time for that much coveted sausage & egg sandwich…..This feeling was like a cloud, I could almost feel it and I didnt want it, my friend had given me some sage to burn (I’ll write about this another time) and I was really tempted to eat it or smoke the bloody thing if it would rid me of this negative feeling. I picked up my laptop to update this blog and this is where I am right now, on my bed, typing away, waiting for my sausages to cook, with yet another cup of tea trying to sum up some positivity.


The Ora Experience – The Power of Attraction

Recently I have been feeling what can only be described as “all over the place.” I didn’t know what I was doing, where I belonged and just felt completely lost. I’ve had this before and just muddled through, but this was different, I really needed to do something about it, I just didnt know what.
A friend of mine is a holistic therapist (as well as a Reiki teacher and psychic medium) and I remembered her talking about completing a diploma in the laws of attraction, so I dropped her a desperate whatsapp asking when she was starting this new therapy, she replied saying that she was actually at the class at that very moment and would message me the details. When she did later that day I immediately asked to book in, I was desperate to take some action.
I left my job last Thursday all ready to join my new place this week, but this did not help, I didn’t know what to do with myself and found myself in a huge anxious mess on Monday I was so glad that I had my session booked in for the following day! I was now just panicking that the snow was going to hinder me from travelling to Essex.
Thankfully the dreaded snow that was predicted, the so-called Beast from the East had failed to make an appearance so I hopped in my car (which is still taped up from the recent fence incident) and made my way excitedly off to my first of three sessions.
As I sat there with a nice cup of tea, Tanya went through a questionnaire she had devised,
what do I want to get out of the experience? What my inspirations are? What my priorities in life are etc. I was really honest with her and there was no judgement, I felt totally at ease baring my all, how could I expect this to have any impact on my life if I wasnt going to be honest? We discussed the fact that I am an Empath and I should avoid narcissists. (Have a read up on this, it’s really interesting)
I’ve had this before but I think this time I was a lot more open as my experience was certainly a lot more intense this time and so bloody accurate.
She started at my head and asked me if I was missing my parents. Strangely enough this was something I had been thinking about recently, I live in Kent and they live in Essex, not a million miles away but still a good hours car journey spooky that she had picked up on this, it hadn’t been mentioned during the initial chat and I certainly hadnt mentioned this to her or anyone for that matter before.
We’d spoken about my anger issues in the initial discussion, I know that a lot my negative energy comes from indirect dealings with my boyfriends ex, she said she could pick up on this during my reiki session.
She moved her hands over my ears, all of a sudden I felt a massive urge to cry! I wasn’t even feeling emotional! I’d cried about 4 times yesterday, I had no reason to feel like this!? She obviously picked up on this as she asked me if I was ok and I said I felt really emotional.
Next she mentioned that I was thinking about learning something, BLOODY HELL has she been spying on me??? Literally the day before I was looking at open university courses, again, I hadn’t told anyone this, I’d forgotten about it myself?!
She moved to my throat and said about me having issues communication issues with someone, definitely my boyfriend! We’d been through a bit of a tough couple of weeks and I was really struggling with the whole thing and found it difficult to talk to him.
Then she said you have a strong positive female around you. Ahhhh my life coach! She had sent me a message that morning making sure I was ok and it really lifted me.
She said she was going to try to get a spirit for me, she said she would go for my nan & granddad, then she said she had a female about 40 there at first I was like hmm I can’t think of anyone, then I said oh it could be my aunt, she had died in an awful car crash 20 years ago, She said that my aunt felt left out and not part of the family which after she died I found out to be true, she was always really nervous of seeing my family as after my uncle died she thought my family didn’t like her, she said she’s really sending me positive vibes, I was still a bit cautious thinking is this real? Then she said “she’s showing me boxes” well bugger me, I got a bit choked up. One of my last memories of my aunt is being in her house in this spare room full of boxes and she was showing me pictures of her wedding day and I often think about that day. Wow.
She got to my solar plexus and said that there is a fire and passion for creativity, as you all know, I absolutely love my writing and reading!
Then she got to my knees and said she this is where my blockage is and she can see the feeling of being stuck but not to worry, once things got going they would move fast.
After the reiki was over, I felt what can only be described as “lighter” my shoulders didn’t feel so heavy anymore and I felt almost cleansed.
Time for another cup of tea and a Tarot card reading. Tanya explained that the reading should match up and/or make sense of the Reiki session Hand me those bloody cards.
I’m not the best card shuffler, in fact I’m quite possibly the worst but I gave it a good go!
My reading was amazing and sooooo positive.
This is all about my awakening, my journey of self discovery BUT I needed to be patient, possibly my least favourite virtue. Dammit. However, it’s all very exciting and I must keep my goal in focus, this would be my writing of course. There is a drastic change, especially financially, well this job I had just landed comes with a significant pay increase which is actually pretty life changing and basically my life was about to get much stronger and stable. Hurrah!
I did pull the deception and envy card, along with the power card. This again refers to the ex, there is a lot of jealousy coming from her and I must use my strength to rise above it.
We then went over everything and spoke more about the laws of attraction and touched on some of the things we would do in my next session in 4 weeks. I was given some exercises to do and some reading material, which I will be getting stuck into with more tea once I finished this blog!
Well blow me bloody down. I came away from there feeling like a completely different person. I was going for dinner with the boyfriend and arranged to meet him in the pub, I got myself a glass of red, sat by the fire and started reading about Empaths & Narcissists (bloody hell I’m a magnet for the old Narcs!)
The boyfriend arrived and I was bubbling with excitement telling him everything, he’s not a great believer in anything outside the box but even he said to me that I looked different and seemed a lot happier.
This morning I woke up and the first thing I did was think about 3 things I was grateful for, this is part of the homework exercises. I then lay snuggled in bed thinking “I could do with another day or two off”
An hour later, I was speaking to my friend who I am going to work with and she said they may have to delay my start day for one or two days. This shit IS for real!
For more information on this therapy, please visit the Ora Holistic website, I cannot recommend this enough.

For the love of books

One thing I have always loved is reading. I had hypnotherapy last year and one of the questions the hypnotherapist asked in the initial session was do I hear, see or smell. I definitely see. When I am reading a book I am so immersed, I know exactly what that person looks like, for me it like watching a film, it’s the same when I dream its like watching TV.

As I have mentioned before, my ambition is to write books, not just one but many. I want to give to others what so many authors have given to me. I am writing this blog to share my favourite books and givers of book hangovers.

In no particular order:

Kane & Abel – Jeffrey Archer. I must have read this book at least 10 times and it never gets boring, I won’t go into detail on any of these books as I don’t want to ruin it but this really is one of the greatest stories I have ever read.

Dead Simple – Peter James. A friend of mine got me into this series and I am totally hooked. I love how each book has a few individual stories on the go and I now feel like I am personal friends with Roy Grace. If you love detective novels, this series is an absolute must.

Gangster – Lorenzo Carcaterra. One of my absolute favourite authors of all time, the writer of the true story Sleepers, which was made into a Hollywood film. I actually read Gangster before I knew this and I can honestly say I was completely blown away by this book. This is one of the few books I have read several times and each time I love it just as much. I have also read Sleepers, Street Boys, Apaches, The Wolf, A Safe Place & Chasers by this author and they are equally good, I still have a few left to read and I can’t wait.

Room – Emma Donoghue. I received this book as a Christmas present from my brother, I was a bit skeptical as he never seemed to read books, this was an amazing, moving book. I had never read anything like it before, the film is great also but there is nothing quite like the book.

Gone Girl – Gillian Flynn. I was fortunate enough to read this before seeing the film and oh god was it good. If you havent seen the film please read the book first, I can’t tell you why, but I can tell you I read this is 2 days!

Dark Matter – Blake Crouch. This book is beyond describing, I actually read this one on holiday in one day, I just had to know. Most of the above are thrillers but this has a large dollop of sci-fi in it, I find the whole concept of this book completely mesmerizing, I’ve read a lot of Blakes other work and also found Wayward Pines equally addictive.

When you disappeared – John Marrs. Another book I could not put down, this had me sneaking off at work as I had to know what happened. Its books like this that make me want to become a writer, I could not get enough of this book and even now want a sequel (hint to author!!)

I will leave it there (for now!) but would love to know what you guys think and if you have any book recommendations for me.