The Ora Experience so far….

As you know from my last blog post, I recently had my first session of a new therapy a friend of mine has started. So much has happened since I had this therapy I just had to write about it, also I am hoping this should cover some of the homework (Tanya?)

I came away from the first session with a whole new sensation in my body, the only way I can think to describe it is like a bubbling, to the point of bursting with a mixture of excitement and a real positive feeling, it’s a bit like when you’ve bought someone a gift and you know they are going to love it, an excited anticipation.

The first noticeable thing that happened, was the day after my first session. I woke up all snuggled in bed feeling what can only be described as content. I thought to myself, “I could really do with a couple more days off and start the new job on Monday” I got up, made some tea and tended to the boyfriend, who had come down with a deadly bout of man flu (a cold). A while later I got a text message from my friend who I was going to work with saying that they made need to delay my start date due to the snow and people not being able to get in. Blimey, I’d only thought about this this morning, the snow hadn’t even been bad the day before.

I spent my day writing and doing little odd jobs, I felt full of enthusiasm and with the principles I’d been given to try out in mind, I found I was noticing quite quickly if I was about to judge, I found myself, rather than focusing on someones dodgy hairstyle or dress sense on TV, finding something positive and actually vocalising it “I like her nail colour” for example. I instantly felt better, this was weird.

My friend text me that afternoon to confirm that my new start date was to be on Monday, well this was going well, I had been reading one of the books Tanya had told me to read and in that it said that you should not doubt things and believe that everything is coincidence, so I thought, you know what, I wanted this and that’s why it’s happened.

The ultimate test came later that evening, when my sainsburys shopping delivery was cancelled 45 minutes after it was due to be delivered. I had no bread in the house and the food I’d planned to have for dinner was in the delivery. My immediate reaction would usually be to be annoyed and throw a hissy fit, but I didn’t, I felt oddly calm. We had food in the cupboards and if need be I could put my wellies on and walk up the shops and get some bread, bread wasnt the centre of the universe anyway (wine is). I picked up my phone, went online and emailed Sainsburys and arranged for the next available slot, which was Friday morning. I noticed that the delivery charge for this slot was £5 more, so I just emailed sainsburys and asked for them to refund the difference. Sorted, along with a dominoes pizza order which is definitely not on the slimming world plan! Oops. But still, I didnt complain, I didnt even get upset (alright the pizza might have helped) I just did something I never ever do. I took it in my stride! ME, I’ve never even taken my stride in my stride before!! Not without worrying about it first.

The following day, the boyfriends man flu had dissipated (slightly) and he went back to work. I was supposed to be having the first of my hen do’s the following day, it was just a small group of us for a couple of people who couldn’t make the main one, it was in London and I thought to myself, I don’t really fancy trekking all the way into London tomorrow. When the original plans had been made I was going to have been at work so it wouldn’t have been far for me to travel at all, but I really wanted to take this time off to relax, I had a really busy week last week and would have another busy week next week.

Later that day one of the girls messaged me saying she may not make it because she may have difficulty travelling in, but to go ahead without her. I said we should wait and see what the weather is saying as we may all have problems getting there. Could this really be another thing I have “manifested”?

Sainsburys also called me to confirm they had refunded the extra money on my delivery, lovely thank you very much.

I was also feeling guilty about my dominoes binge the night before so I decided I must do better today, I had already got up and completed a HIIT session that morning and that had really set me up for the day. The only way I could describe my current mindset is “At peace” Now for those of you that have read my other blogs, you will know I’m much more in pieces than at peace! So this was a very welcome first.

I went to bed that night with a few scoops of (low-calorie) salted caramel ice cream (delish by the way) and a smile on my face. Oh and something else happened, I love to be stroked (pretty sure I was a dog in a former life) I am always pestering my boyfriend to stroke my arm, face, hair whatever, to the point where he now refers to me as a strokeponce. He never EVER does this unless it’s requested, so imagine my surprise as I am in bed reading (the latest Rachel Abbott novel if anyones interested, it’s really good!) he started stroking my hair!!! At first I was like WTAF? But then I just gave a little smile to my strokeponce self and said nothing, if I did he might stop!!

I woke up the following morning feeling groggy, it would appear I have contracted the man flu from my boyfriend, (I was a bit bunged up and headachey, not falling out of my bed muttering about funeral plans as some people do – no names mentioned) I did my 3 things to be grateful for in my head, as I had been each morning since my session and came downstairs to make myself a cup of tea.

The sainsburys shopping arrived later that morning, Hurrah, I was looking forward to having a sausage and egg sandwich. I thanked the delivery girl for being out in this weather, which I realised afterwards I genuinely meant, I really was grateful that she had delivered my food. I put the (low-fat) sausages in the oven (sainsburys reduced fat are yum by the way) whilst I unpacked the rest of my shopping, hang on, where’s the bread?? How am I going to have a sandwich? Dammit it wasnt on the receipt, I was certain I had ordered it! I messaged the boyfriend and ask if he could pick some up on his way home and I said I would have to have a bagel instead, I was just about to complain to him how bad bagels were on Slimming World (11 syns for those of you wondering) when I stopped myself, instead of complaining, what could I have instead? So I ended up with rather delicious half english breakfast, as I like to call it. Oven cooked sausages, grilled bacon, scrambled egg & mushrooms, much better than a sausage sandwich indeed and much more slimming world friendly.

The post arrived and there was what looked like a card addressed to me, odd, someones a month early for my birthday? When I opened it it was a good luck card from my best friend, I was genuinely touched, I actually felt really thankful and it was a lovely feeling, I popped the card up and sent her a message saying thank you and that it was a nice surprise. I opened the other letter addressed to me, from my bank. They are going to reduce my overdraft by £700 on April 2nd. I’ve had these letters before, this happens regularly and even though I know the process it still stresses me out, makes me angry and I usually have a bit of an internal melt down. Not today, I read the letter calmly, decided I would give them a call later to arrange to pay this off monthly, which is how it usually worked, and I would give it no more thought. Who am I?

Then I got a message from my friend, his girlfriend just had their first baby and he wanted to do something nice for mother’s day for her. This is my idea of heaven, I love finding nice things for people to do and helping them buy gifts, if this was an actual job I would be the best at this! I sent over some ideas, which he loved and again felt a lovely warm feeling inside, grateful that my friend came to me and happy that I could help.

Saturday morning I woke up and feeling like I was diluted, it was our weekend to have the kids and because of the weather the boyfriend agreed to pick them up on Saturday morning. I woke up feeling groggy, having had a few glasses of red wine the night before, I was so busy thinking about how rubbish I was feeling I totally forgot to do my gratitude first thing, oops. The kids arrived and brought the usual noise into my peaceful house, I started to feel resentful as I made myself a cup of tea, there was mess everywhere already and the sofa was taken over as they fired up the Playstation, leaving me with nowhere to sit, I was desperately trying to not to feel negative as I wanted to avoid any negative emotions so I came upstairs and re-read the principles that had been given to me as part of the therapy, this helped me to gain some perspective and I did some tidying up upstairs. I find this helps clear my mind sometimes and can help distract me from my thoughts. I wasn’t enjoying this feeling, I missed that fizzy excitement of the last few days and was scrabbling around trying to get it back somehow…maybe some food would help, now we had some bread in the house, maybe it was time for that much coveted sausage & egg sandwich…..This feeling was like a cloud, I could almost feel it and I didnt want it, my friend had given me some sage to burn (I’ll write about this another time) and I was really tempted to eat it or smoke the bloody thing if it would rid me of this negative feeling. I picked up my laptop to update this blog and this is where I am right now, on my bed, typing away, waiting for my sausages to cook, with yet another cup of tea trying to sum up some positivity.

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Slimming World, Hormones & Me

As you have probably gathered from my previous posts, I am now doing Slimming World. I won’t refer to it as a diet, as in actual fact, I’m not being deprived of any food (or alcohol – and I think we can all agree I like a drink or 10)

For those of you not familiar with Slimming World, here is the basic concept. All lean meat, most fish & seafood, fruit & vegetables are what is known as free food, you can have as much of this as you like, this also includes potatoes, pasta & eggs. Yes you read that correctly, as my Mum often said when she was giving me her slimming world sales pitch “you can eat a whole bag of potatoes if you like” but it’s true (although I’m yet to try it) then you have what is known as healthy extras one list is made up of certain dairy products (milk & cheese) and the other is fibre (bread, crackers, cereals) you are to have one from each list per day. Then all other food is given a “syn” value for example a large glass of my much beloved Sauvignon blanc is 11.5 syns. When you sign up to Slimming world, you are given a daily syn allowance, mine for example is 12-15 per day. When you sign up you have access to an online portal where you can find the syn value of most food brands and restaurants and there is also a calculator for anything else. So I can, if I want, still have a large glass of wine every day if I like! Hurrah!

So I’m back on the slimming world wagon (after a 4 week Christmas break) I have lost 3.5lb in 2 weeks, in this time I’ve drank (too much) wine, been to an Indian restaurant (and ate with abandon) celebrated 2 children’s birthdays and not done any extra exercise (I walk 30 mins to Work and 30 mins home which I’ve always done) so I’m pretty much in love with the Slimming World concept right now.

I am not, however, loving my hormones. Sunday night I started to feel, well weird, like I’d had too much caffeine but fed up with it, jittery misery is the only way to describe it. I took Monday off of work as I wasn’t in the right frame of mind for people, this was a mistake as staying home watching Jeremy Kyle only made me more miserable and I was out of my routine. I was now blaming the crateload of prosecco I’d consumed over the weekend. Back to work tomorrow!

Tuesday morning was met with a Moany man banging on about my alarm being snoozed too much and waking him up (he had to get up anyway) I just wasn’t in the mood for his misery so I cried about it when he got in the shower, silently ranting at his cruelty of daring to tell me off when I am feeling so sensitive (like he knew about it)

Wednesday at work was uneventful but I still wasn’t feeling myself, whilst driving home from the station I attempted parking my car on my drive and hit the fence taking half of the back of my car off whilst my boyfriend stood and watched from the doorstep with his hand over his mouth, I just left the car abandoned across the drive, threw him the keys shouting “YOU DO IT!!” I stomped upstairs put my pyjamas on and cried for a bit. Fucking fence.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year everyone!

I have to say, at the risk of sounding like a complete killjoy, I am glad it’s all over.

I am not going to write about the things I thought I was going to write about, such as how I have gone from being Mrs Christmas to Scrooge, or how I keep having very bizarre, vivid dreams. Nope, I am going to wipe the slate clean and look forward, instead of back.

So I admit it, I am one of those New Year, New Me people this year. I have set my goals for the year so I thought I would share them with you.

  1. Lose weight. Oh yes, everybodys favourite! Since meeting my boyfriend I have put on over 2 stone and it really gets to me. This year however, I have a huge incentive. I’m getting married!! Although I have ordered my dress and it looks lovely as I am now, I am not happy with the way I am. I don’t want to go out as much anymore as I never feel nice in my clothes and I hate shopping as it is but the awful feeling of trying stuff on and it’s too tight or just looks horrible does not help my mental state at all. I have been doing slimming world, where I lost 8lb but then have put half back on after having a few weeks off at Christmas, but I am confident that I can shift some serious weight, without starving myself, in fact I eat more now than ever!
  2. Get Fit. This actually has nothing to do with weight loss, this has more to do with my general health. My joints are aching and I don’t seem to bounce back from illnesses like I used to and once again exercise is good for the mind. The plan is to try to exercise 3 times a week and I would like to mix it up a bit by doing some running, HIIT sessions and even giving yoga a go. This is all in my diary to start next week, I prefer exercising in the mornings as if I wait until I come home I wont do it! If I feel like starting this week I will, I just didn’t want to put any pressure on myself to do everything New Years Day.
  3. Write more. I really do enjoy writing, often I will be somewhere and have the urge to write but am not always able to so I want to try to  make more time for this as I find it really therapeutic. Again I have scheduled some time in my diary for this, I am starting with one lunch time per week and can build it from there, so you should expect to see more of me.
  4. Have more me time. I learned a really good word last year. That word is “NO” It took me a long time to get used to saying that to people, I would feel guilty and end up spending time and money I didn’t have to spend. This year is going to be more about doing the things I want to do and less of the things I don’t want. It’s certainly not going to be easy but I know it will be worth it. I noticed that when I had a lot of things going on, my stress levels would go up and I would be a mess, then once it was all over the anxiety would arrive. More diary time, I’ve scheduled every other Wednesday as my boyfriend plays football on Wednesday nights and every other Sunday when he takes the kids to his parents for the afternoon. This gives me time alone to do whatever I want to.
  5. Be less anxious/stressed. I am hoping that the combination of all of these goals will really help with this one. I am finding that if I get stressed it goes from 0-100 it affects my sleep, my relationships, everything. The same with the anxiety. For this my plan is to do all of the above plus perhaps slip a bit of meditation into my routine, this can easily be done on my commute to work

I know it seems like I have put a lot of things on my to do list and in my diary but I am very much a routine person and once its in there I don’t even think about it. I have told myself I am not going to be too rigid, there are going to be occasions when I simply cannot do it all, but the aim of the game is small baby steps, if I find that something isn’t working, I’ll change it, just as long as I try.

I like to use tools and apps for everything too. For the weight loss I am a member Slimming World and got a lovely organiser for Christmas to help with this from Princess Planning I also set up my own Instagram account purely for my weight loss and that really helps, plus I don’t bore all my friends with my food pics as they go on there.

I downloaded the You App to my phone which gives you little daily tasks to do, I love stuff like this and there is no pressure to do them it’s just a nice idea.

I also downloaded an app called reflectly which is like a micro journal, it asks you a couple of questions at the end of each day, such as things you are grateful for and how you rate the day.

I also have a couple of books to fill in. I bought 52 lists last year and kept forgetting to do it so now I have a reminder for Sunday morning to take some time each week to complete my list.

And finally, the last thing I do before I go to bed each night is to complete my one line a day diary which my life coach friend bought for Xmas. I love it and already started it last  night.

So those are my goals for the coming year, what are yours?

 

Cycle One, Round Two

I haven’t been on here for a while, what with a busy calendar, the last month or so has been a bit of a blur, which sadly hindered my 90 day plan further.

As you have probably already seen, since starting the plan back in March, I have torn a calf muscle, had the flu and several colds, had a birthday, had a weekend away,  come off of my anti depressants, had my best friends hen do, had my brothers wedding and then my best friends hen weekend.

I just couldn’t get a hold of it and felt something was always getting in my way. I bodged my way through cycle two, just, then got my cycle three plan only to decide that I want to start the whole thing again and this time I’m going to really give it my all. I finally have my mojo back after all this time and more importantly, I feel ready. Pretty sure having one month until my best friends wedding is also helping too.

I’ve got my life coach friend onto the books so its nice to have someone to obsess about the plan with. We also went along and helped Joe Wicks break the world record last week. I must admit I was swaying towards the idea of doing some drastic low calorie diet for the next 30 days, but going there and seeing almost 4000 people do one of Joes HIIT workouts really did inspire me to start the whole thing again.

I’ve decided that this time, I am going to avoid drinking alcohol as much as possible, which for me is going to be pretty difficult, given already this week I have a lunch and two dinners I’m going out for, but I have reserved the right restaurants where I know I can eat on plan and I am really going to try and avoid drinking alcohol in the week. I realise now I could have done so much more last time round which makes me more determined as I can clearly see my mistakes.

I got up at 5am this morning, did a 20 minute HIIT sessions from Joes DVD, made myself some protein breakfast muffins and my lunch and I am feeling pretty good.

So here goes round two of cycle one. Wish me luck.

The end of Cycle One – Finally!

I’ve finally finished cycle one of the 90 day SSS plan! Hurrah. It was a looooong road as I had to pretty much start it all over again because of injury then illness but I’m so pleased I finished it.

I could have done better but the second time round I was beginning to get bored with eating the same stuff, it would have been fine for 30 days but not after 50 odd.

I’ll admit that the week before I was thinking of jacking it all in until after my holiday which is in 6 weeks, I wasn’t feeling any different, why wasn’t I a size 8 yet?

I was due to submit on Friday but having come down with another virus (I’ve ordered some vitamins!!) I decided to submit a couple of days early in case I was still ill come Friday, it’s Saturday now and I’m actually feeling worse, so good job really.

I went down and got on the scales. I weigh in stones & pounds but you submit in Kg, I originally thought I had only lost 1 pound but when I converted it was actually 3 pounds, then I measured,  4 inches off all over. Bring on the tears! I’m not sure what I was expecting given I was still drinking a lot at weekends and had had a fair few takeaways, I think I was more disappointed with myself than the results as I know I could have done better and had I not got an injury & had to start over my results would most certainly been better.

I asked my boyfriend to take pictures, I felt really self-conscious, even though he sees me naked all the time, after seeing my weight & inches it just made me feel horrible. Obviously I hated the pictures, you submit your front, side & back, looking at them I could just see fat me.

Then something amazing happened, I looked at the two pictures together, before & after cycle 1. I had a waist again! I could see some actual significant change in my body shape. Hooray! Then I had another thought, if that change could happen in that time when I was really only giving it 70%, imagine what can happen on Cycles 2 & 3 if I put more effort in!!

At last I have my mojo back! I’ve missed this feeling so much. Cycle 2 arrived on Thursday morning so I spent a while reading it. It’s so different to cycle 1 & there is much more freedom when it comes to food and more carbs!

You exercise 4 times a week it’s HIIT & weights so the exercise is longer but not by much and you get to have 3 carb meals per day on training days YESSSSSS! Rest days are the same as on cycle one.

For food you are given some recipes for both training & rest days but you are encouraged to create your own & are given a guide of how much of which foods to have, on training days it’s meat, veg, spices, sauces & carbs, on rest days carbs are replaced by fats. The snacks differ from training & rest days too.

Luckily being holed up on my sofa gave me plenty of time to work out some recipes, I found the best way was to use joes cook books, there’s also a page on Facebook called mydietburble that gives recipe ideas which is really useful.

So I am really excited to start, I’m going to start with a rest day tomorrow, just in case I’m still ill and do my first training day on Monday.

So here are my tips for cycle one.

  • Plan ahead for each week, I found that working out my training days and my meals for the week ahead helped keep me focused.
  • Batch cook if you can, I was doubling up on dinners so I could have them for lunch or dinner later in the week, it saves lots of time.
  • Join groups on social media. The support there is amazing, everyone is going through the same struggles and even just reading some people’s success stories can keep you going when you need it.
  • Buy Carb killas for snacks if you have a sweet tooth, they’re amazing and you’re allowed 2 per week.
  • If like me you hate plain yoghurt, buy some flavour drops from my protein, I saved my yoghurt from some recipes and had as a dessert with toffee flavour drops or added a strawberry flavour drop to my protein shake was a game changer! 
  • Don’t weigh or measure yourself until the end of each 30 days. This is one thing I did actually stick to but I see so many people on the groups becoming anxious as they’re not seeing the change that they want, someone in one of the groups posted this which helps explain why this happens
  • And finally, trust in the plan. It isn’t this successful for no reason you may want to give up at times, but stick with it. I am yet to come across someone who has finished the 90 days and said they’ve seen no change.

Bring on cycle two!!!

Pop goes the muscle

Last Friday was my birthday weekend, my boyfriend always takes me out for a surprise dinner & I was really looking forward to it. I had lunch with a friend and managed to stay on plan, I also bought loads of cakes and treats into work and didn’t touch a thing. I was so in the zone.

We went to a nice rooftop bar for some drinks and then headed off to the restaurant. We were waiting to cross the road and I went to run across and I felt a sickening pop in my calf. Oh the pain! Ouuuuuch! I managed to hobble to the restaurant hoping to walk it off. I got some ice from the waiter and LOTS of wine to try & dull the pain.

The dinner was amazing, he took me to Smiths in Wapping which I love and it’s very romantic AND I managed to eat healthy. Sadly the wine didn’t work as I’d hoped and rather than go on for drinks after it was a taxi home.

I’d planned to have a rest day on Saturday anyway, which was lucky as I could barely walk. I was feeling fed up and slightly panicking as I was due to finish cycle one later that week. I caved in and got an Indian takeaway for dinner and resolved to get back to healthy the following day. I did this but still couldn’t walk so I had to cancel a meeting with the florist.

The following day was my birthday & I’d taken the day off work and planned to have lunch with my best friend. She had to pick me up as I was worried about driving, I looked like a right idiot hobbling up the road. I allowed myself a chicken carbonarra from Prezzo as that’s my fave. When I got home, I felt pretty sorry for myself, in anticipation of the pity party I was about to have, I had bought some bakewell tarts and some prosecco. This wasnt the birthday I had in mind, I should be shopping, drinking, anything but sitting on my sofa trying to muster up the effort to make the 5 hour trip to the kitchen to get myself a coke zero. I wanted to see if I could drive so I offered to pick my boyfriend up from the station as a test, which I passed thank god. By the time my boyfriend got home from work, I had eaten the whole packet of bakewell tarts and  was ready to crack open the prosecco. Fuck it, may as well get a bloody chinese.

The following day I had a doctor’s appointment, I am finally going to come off the anti-depressants! Not a great start to the day tho as I struggled to bring a basket of dirty laundry from upstairs (I normally just throw it down) that got me in tears, then a packet of sesame seeds had fallen out of the cupboard which sent me hysterical, anyone would have thought something horrific had happened in my life the way I was carrying on. I went to the doctors and didn’t tell him about my meltdown, I think it was more due to cabin fever than anything else, plus my frustration about having to stop the plan. He told me I had “probably” torn a calf muscle as there was now a nice green bruise on the back of my leg. I need to rest it and recovery can take 4-6 weeks. Thanks doc, so exactly what I read on the internet then. I picked up the last of my pills (hopefully) and drove home, all the way craving chip shop chips, which of course I got along with a pie. Once you start this bloody junk eating its hard to stop.

I decided to attempt to get to work on Wednesday, I had dinner planned with a friend and I really didn’t want to cancel for a 3rd time. I walk pretty fast all the time, my walk to the train station usually takes me about 20 minutes and its all uphill, today it took forever, but at least I got a seat, the walk from the station to my office is around 10 minutes. It took me about an extra 25 minutes to get into work and I was exhausted, my good leg was aching and I felt like a right twat hobbling around the office, but it was nice to be out and about. My lovely work, showered me with some lovely gifts for my birthday and I met my friend for dinner so the pain was worth it.

I tried to keep myself moving, which I now realise this was a mistake as when I woke up on Thursday, my leg was throbbing, I messaged my boss and told him I was going to stay at home and rest it. I had my birthday drinks planned for Friday and I wasn’t bloody going to cancel that. So I settled down for the day with reality TV & cake.

Friday! Birthday drinks and also a friend at works 40th birthday. My leg felt better that yesterday I was going to get up early and get in and decorate her desk. I didn’t want to make the same mistakes as Wednesday so I decided I would catch a bus, then a tube, then a bus, this would mean a lot less walking. So I thought. The bus journey to the tube station takes around 45 minutes usually but this morning the bus was making good time, I started thinking to myself that maybe the bus would be the way forward for the summer months. About 5 minutes after having this thought, people started getting off the bus, we weren’t even at a stop, we were at traffic lights, why is everyone getting off? They’ve only gone and closed the road! Traffic wasnt even moving. I sat there for another 5 minutes or so and the bus was practically empty now. Dammit, I’m going to have to get off and do the 15 minute walk, which will take me at least 20, so off I hobbled. Luckily a tube arrived straight away and I got a seat. Yay!

Got off the tube and checked my app to see when the next bus would arrive. 19 Minutes. 19 Minutes!! It will take me that to walk to the office, sod it, so off I hobbled again only for the bus to overtake me. I honestly thought I was going to cry. I managed to get on a bus eventually but rather than get in early to decorate my friends desk, I actually got in late and my 1 hour journey took over 2 hours. Never again!! Tonight I get drunk!

Moody Monday

Last night I made myself some overnight oats, which was actually a great trick as when I tried to have my usual argument with myself this morning about shall I exercise or stay in bed, I had to get up because I had to have my refuel meal. I decided to go up to level 3 on the Joe Wicks DVD, bloody hell, who thought that 5 seconds more could make such a difference? Feeling achey, but all please with myself, I got ready for work and enjoyed my oatsIMG_6489

I was in pretty happy mood for a Monday, work was pretty quiet so I thought I would go online and look for some outfits for my birthday dinner with the boyfriend on Friday. I’m not sure if this was the trigger, as I did find it quite depressing looking at all these slim women and all these lovely dresses and knowing that I was not going to be able to wear any of them but suddenly the black cloud arrived, I had managed to avoid it for the last few days but now it was well and truly here.

By the time I finished work I was a really bad mood and I really didn’t know why!! I felt really fed up, angry & tearful. I wondered if it was a booze comedown from the weekend but I didn’t drink anymore than a normal weekend. I’m already blaming my boyfriend for being moody at the weekend and spending the entire time on the computer with the kids, I worked it out that the entire time the kids were awake and in the house, they were on the computer. Me, I just cleaned up.

I hated feeling like this and havent felt this bad since being on my tablets, it was literally a rollercoaster of emotions, by the time I got home I wanted to cry. To make matters worse, my boyfriend ended up having to work a bit late, which usually I wouldn’t care about and be happy to have the extra time to myself, but today I wanted him home, I don’t even know why as really I just wanted to shout at him for no reason whatsoever.

After being home for about an hour he messaged me to say he was on the train, so I decided to get dinner on the go. Normally I would offer to go and pick him up but I was so pissed off and fed up I decided he could walk for once. Childish I know.

He came home and seemed in a fairly good mood which made me feel a little bit better, we chatted a bit and he asked me how my day was, so I was honest and told him how I was feeling, I left out the part where he was to blame for everything that was wrong with the world, I didn’t think that would help matters. He gave me a big cuddle and we sat and had a nice chilled night together, along with my cheesy meatballs. Heres hoping to a better day tomorrow.IMG_6495

The Body Coach 90 Day SSS Plan – The rest of week 3

So as you know, week three got off to a wobbly start, but I was determined not to be beaten. I woke up on Friday, feeling refreshed and ready to go, I cracked on with a HIIT session and rewarded myself with some yummy pancakes.IMG_6464

They are seriously good, but soooo filling. I was on such a high after exercising I decided to try out the chicken satay for lunch, which was delicious and better than the one I had from the chinese takeaway the other week, but that was rubbish to be fair! You cannot see it in the pic but that contains a whole 120g bag of rocket and it wasnt even enough greens!!IMG_6474

Friday lunch went the usual way, the angel & devil in my head fighting out whether to go out to lunch, then my friend popped over to my desk and without thinking I suggested wine. Oh well. I still managed to go home and cook after meeting the boyfriends parents in the pub where they had taken the kids for dinner, more red wine! I tried out a new recipe, cod with Spicy peas. It was bloody lovely, it doesn’t look much in the picture but it was really tasty, definitely one to have again.IMG_6482

The only problem with knocking back all this red wine is that I felt a bit moody, the boyfriend was being snappy and miserable and I couldn’t cope with it so spent most of the evening sulking.

Saturday

Woke up the next morning, determined not to carry the misery on, my boyfriend was taking the kids to football and I was to do a HIIT workout, I was trying not to think about it and just get to it. It worked and I felt really good afterwards, I decided to have another go at the spanish omelette.IMG_6481

It tasted so much better this time, not burnt. It was still more of a hash than an omelette but it was lovely. I was meeting my friend for lunch and had arranged to go to Browns so that I could have a sirloin steak and some green veg. The boyfriend was now home and being even more miserable as he didn’t feel well, seriously! I said goodbye to the kids and left the house without saying goodbye to him, that will teach him. I met my friend but we forgot to book a table so that meant a 30 minute wait, which meant, you guessed it red wine, we had a great catch up, I forgot to ask for no chips with my steak and I ate them, dammit. Still I could be good for the rest of the day. I was feeling tired, hormonal so on my way home, I picked up more red wine and planned to sulk until my boyfriend apologised.

This didnt happen as I got home and just wanted to make up, I couldn’t bear the sulking. Unfortunately, the peace didn’t last long and another bicker ensued later on which led me to not have any dinner that night, I still made myself a cashew curry but put it in the fridge to have for lunch Monday & Tuesday. I was so wound up I wasnt really tired and he was like a nodding dog so went up to bed, I stayed downstairs for another 30 mins or so and when I went up he was still awake and said he wanted to wait up for me.

Sunday I woke up feeling a bit better, but not entirely sulk free. I decided to go for an interval run to see if this would help. I got up and made the kids some toast and off I went. Bloody hell, interval running is harder than normal running! I came back covered in sweat but in a slightly better mood. I got showered, made the kids a smoothie each with the help of one in their chef hat and made me and my boyfriend a spanish omelette and left them downstairs playing the computer while I ate my breakfast in relative piece. I came down a while later and decided to clean the kitchen. The kids asked for a milkshake, which the boyfriend agreed to, so I made this and cracked on scrubbing every surface and cleaning the floor to finish off. I kept reminding my boyfriend of the time as they had to be at his parents for dinner at 3pm as they do every other Sunday, then at 2pm he finally decides its time to get ready so off goes to the shower, leaving the kids with no instructions whatsoever. At 2.30pm I tell them to go and get ready as he is still upstairs doing god knows what and I cannot deal with him stomping around in a huff because they’re late. They go upstairs and then it begins, of course they’re not getting ready, they’re doing everything but. However, I am busy cleaning up after everyone and decide that since my boyfriend is upstairs, he can deal with it. After about 15 minutes of him asking them to get ready he comes downstairs and says to me “no more milkshakes” Everything is all my fault of course, perhaps if they hadn’t been on the computer since 8.30am this morning and got ready instead we wouldn’t be having this issue?

By the time they had all left the house, I was done cleaning the kitchen and decided on a cup of tea and a carb killa. Rock n Roll! I binge watched Ex on the Beach and had a lime and avocado smoothie for lunch, feeling very pleased with myself at having exercised and also not killing my boyfriend. I could feel it bubbling up inside me but I was determined not to cause an argument. I decided to do a fake tan and paint my nails to make myself feel better, I wanted to shake this fog. By the time he came home I was in a bit of a better mood I made him some chicken satay and at the last-minute decided I wanted a cheese and mushroom omelette, the evening went on with no sulking and we went to bed fine and dandy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Body Coach 90 Day SSS Plan – Week 3

So things I learned from week 2 is mainly that I am incapable of giving up alcohol entirely, however, I have not let this get me down as this is supposed to be a lifestyle change and not a diet, I am also drinking a lot less than I was before I started this.

Week 3, I knew was going to get off to a rocky start. The boyfriend and I (I still can’t call him fiance, it makes me cringe) were going to a steak restaurant with his friend and his wife, they were big drinkers and there was no way I could sit there and watch everyone get drunk, I would have stabbed someone, I just don’t find anything as funny as drunk people when I am sober. I was so exhausted in the morning from my evening work out that I allowed myself to have a rest day which also meant lime and avocado for breakfast (YAY!) I was good with my food all day and then met my boyfriend after work for a few pre drinks as the table wasnt booked until 8pm. I decided to drink red wine in the pub as that was what I would be drinking with my steak. Unfortunately, by the time we got to the restaurant, everything became a bit hazy and I can’t really remember too much about the food. The boyfriend and I got a bus home and I decided I was going to be naughty and have a couple of chocolate biscuits when I got in as I had been off plan anyway, so two wouldn’t hurt, I didn’t have a dessert.

Wednesday

I woke up Wednesday morning feeling so pleased with myself, I avoided the chocolate biscuits! Hurrah, I am cured of my sweet tooth! I reached over for my phone and sprinkled myself with biscuit crumbs. DAMMIT!! Not only had I had the much coveted chocolate biscuits, I could even remember enjoying them!! What a waste. I spent so much time mourning this that I ended up running late for work, another smoothie for breakfast it is. Oh crap, I had been too lazy to make up another lunch yesterday morning, even though I’d had time and now I had to do that as well. I rustled up some lean muscle mince and left, 30 minutes later than I should have. Oops.

Now, I never get hangovers, never. But today my body decided to bring one on. Great. I really just wanted to go home, work wasnt particularly busy which was annoying as the day dragged on even more. I was even more excited as I had a night in to myself. By 12pm I knew there was only one thing that would help my situation. More wine. I met a friend at lunch and caught up over a couple of glasses, I felt better, now I was just tired. After what seemed like an eternity, 5pm came round and I was soon in my PJs on the sofa with my cheese and mushroom omelette. I cannot even describe the battle I had with myself over this and Chips and cheese on toast with ketchup.IMG_6458

It did the job and I ended up going to bed at 8.30 to watch TV and falling asleep pretty much straight away.

Thursday

Woke up at 3am having horrible dreams that the boyfriend broke up with me, really struggled to get back to sleep so when my alarm went off at 5am, there was no way I was capable of doing a HIIT session, I could just about stand up. Another smoothie it is then. Along with the rest of my lean muscle mince and the UK supply of KaleIMG_6459

Seriously, I had to eat all of that. Another slow day and I think I may be a bit hormonal and I was feeling guilty that I was three days into the week and hadn’t done any exercise.

I was looking forward to an evening indoors with my boyfriend and having a chicken stir fry which was bloody good if I do say so myself. IMG_6462

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Body Coach 90 Day SSS Plan, the rest of week 2

Its Friday, Hurrah! I have been so excited about my weekend this week as I have zero plans!! I am in such a good mood!! I got up and done a HIIT session and treated myself to some pancakes, today is going to be good.IMG_6417

That didn’t last long, I’ve been having issues with a friend of mine and I’ve been noticing over the years how one-sided our friendship is, I have been upset before but I am kind of over it now as it is what it is, however, now I am no longer showing an interest in the friendship, I am finding her to be quite manipulative and she has even gone as far as saying that I havent seen her son for ages and he wants to see me, basically trying to guilt trip me. I am fuming, I was so angry about this, I needed to let off some steam, so I ended up enjoying a couple of glasses of red wine at lunch with friends and furiously texting my other friend/unofficial life coach. I stuck to my lunch plans but sadly ended up meeting my boyfriend for a few drinks after work and getting rather worse for wear and eating a cheeseburger and some chips and falling asleep on the sofa. No pictures of that I am afraid.

Saturday

After waking up on the sofa at midnight and sending myself to bed, I woke up Saturday feeling ok-ish. I decided to have a lazy day today, my boyfriend was going to play golf so I had the TV to myself. I made myself a nice cheese and mushroom omelette, that should see me through until lunch time.IMG_6426

My body was screaming for sugar, it must have been the wine last night. Dammit!  Plus I knew there were biscuits and chocolate in the cupboard, I want some!!!!!! I knew I should’ve saved myself a grenade bar!! I managed to refrain and instead asked my boyfriend to pick up some coke zeros, as I am allowed 2 per day. I think I exhausted myself with my battle of will power as I actually fell asleep in the afternoon and when my boyfriend come back I made the chicken cashew curry which has become a firm favourite.IMG_6429

I was happy, I managed to not give in to my cravings, I have always been a bit of secret eater and would sneak food when I was in the house alone, but for the first time in my life I managed to stay strong. Yay Me!

Sunday

Sunday was housework day, I was supposed to do a HIIT session, but decided by the time I had done all the house work, I would be to tired, so I easily talked myself out of that one. I convinced my boyfriend to join me in a guilt free fry up, he was slightly concerned about eating steak for breakfast, but he enjoyed it so much he wants it this week!!IMG_6431

As I couldn’t have a roast dinner, which I am surprised to be missing, I decided to give the sausage and beef casserole a go in the slow cooker, although I think I may have put a bit too much water in so I’ll have to try that one again.

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Monday

Monday came around, but I felt like I had had a really nice chilled weekend so I was raring to go on Monday, I had a HIIT session planned for the evening so for breakfast I decided to give the reduced carb oats a go.IMG_6437

They were strange, I think I would give them another go, but the verdict was out on those. I came home that night and got straight into a HIIT session followed by a protein shake as I was starving!! Then I tried out the Paprika chicken and potatoes, delish. Another one for the make again list.IMG_6442

So week 2 is done, I should have done one more HIIT session really but I was pretty good with my food (apart from the burger & chips) I’m still drinking more than I should though and need to make more of an effort with this. I’m worried as my birthday is coming up and I have lots of lunches and dinners planned, I need to stay focused!!!