Recently I have been feeling what can only be described as “all over the place.” I didn’t know what I was doing, where I belonged and just felt completely lost. I’ve had this before and just muddled through, but this was different, I really needed to do something about it, I just didnt know what.
A friend of mine is a holistic therapist (as well as a Reiki teacher and psychic medium) and I remembered her talking about completing a diploma in the laws of attraction, so I dropped her a desperate whatsapp asking when she was starting this new therapy, she replied saying that she was actually at the class at that very moment and would message me the details. When she did later that day I immediately asked to book in, I was desperate to take some action.
I left my job last Thursday all ready to join my new place this week, but this did not help, I didn’t know what to do with myself and found myself in a huge anxious mess on Monday I was so glad that I had my session booked in for the following day! I was now just panicking that the snow was going to hinder me from travelling to Essex.
Thankfully the dreaded snow that was predicted, the so-called Beast from the East had failed to make an appearance so I hopped in my car (which is still taped up from the recent fence incident) and made my way excitedly off to my first of three sessions.
As I sat there with a nice cup of tea, Tanya went through a questionnaire she had devised;
What do I want to get out of the experience? What my inspirations are? What my priorities in life are etc. I was really honest with her and there was no judgement, I felt totally at ease baring my all, how could I expect this to have any impact on my life if I wasnt going to be honest? We discussed the fact that I am an Empath and I should avoid narcissists. (Have a read up on this, it’s really interesting)
I’ve had this before but I think this time I was a lot more open as my experience was certainly a lot more intense this time and so bloody accurate.
She started at my head and asked me if I was missing my parents. Strangely enough this was something I had been thinking about recently, I live in Kent and they live in Essex, not a million miles away but still a good hours car journey spooky that she had picked up on this, it hadn’t been mentioned during the initial chat and I certainly hadnt mentioned this to her or anyone for that matter before.
We’d spoken about my anger issues in the initial discussion, I know that a lot my negative energy comes from indirect dealings with my boyfriends ex, she said she could pick up on this during my reiki session.
She moved her hands over my ears, all of a sudden I felt a massive urge to cry! I wasn’t even feeling emotional! I’d cried about 4 times yesterday, I had no reason to feel like this!? She obviously picked up on this as she asked me if I was ok and I said I felt really emotional.
Next she mentioned that I was thinking about learning something, BLOODY HELL has she been spying on me??? Literally the day before I was looking at open university courses, again, I hadn’t told anyone this, I’d forgotten about it myself?!
She moved to my throat and said about me having issues communication issues with someone, definitely my boyfriend! We’d been through a bit of a tough couple of weeks and I was really struggling with the whole thing and found it difficult to talk to him.
Then she said you have a strong positive female around you. Ahhhh my life coach! She had sent me a message that morning making sure I was ok and it really lifted me.
She said she was going to try to get a spirit for me, she said she would go for my nan & granddad, then she said she had a female about 40 there at first I was like hmm I can’t think of anyone, then I said oh it could be my aunt, she had died in an awful car crash 20 years ago, She said that my aunt felt left out and not part of the family which after she died I found out to be true, she was always really nervous of seeing my family as after my uncle died she thought my family didn’t like her, she said she’s really sending me positive vibes, I was still a bit cautious thinking is this real? Then she said “she’s showing me boxes” well bugger me, I got a bit choked up. One of my last memories of my aunt is being in her house in this spare room full of boxes and she was showing me pictures of her wedding day and I often think about that day. Wow.
She got to my solar plexus and said that there is a fire and passion for creativity, as you all know, I absolutely love my writing and reading!
Then she got to my knees and said she this is where my blockage is and she can see the feeling of being stuck but not to worry, once things got going they would move fast.
After the reiki was over, I felt what can only be described as “lighter” my shoulders didn’t feel so heavy anymore and I felt almost cleansed.
Time for another cup of tea and a Tarot card reading. Tanya explained that the reading should match up and/or make sense of the Reiki session Hand me those bloody cards.
I’m not the best card shuffler, in fact I’m quite possibly the worst but I gave it a good go!
My reading was amazing and sooooo positive.
This is all about my awakening, my journey of self discovery BUT I needed to be patient, possibly my least favourite virtue. Dammit. However, it’s all very exciting and I must keep my goal in focus, this would be my writing of course. There is a drastic change, especially financially, well this job I had just landed comes with a significant pay increase which is actually pretty life changing and basically my life was about to get much stronger and stable. Hurrah!
I did pull the deception and envy card, along with the power card. This again refers to the ex, there is a lot of jealousy coming from her and I must use my strength to rise above it.
We then went over everything and spoke more about the laws of attraction and touched on some of the things we would do in my next session in 4 weeks. I was given some exercises to do and some reading material, which I will be getting stuck into with more tea once I finished this blog!
Well blow me bloody down. I came away from there feeling like a completely different person. I was going for dinner with the boyfriend and arranged to meet him in the pub, I got myself a glass of red, sat by the fire and started reading about Empaths & Narcissists (bloody hell I’m a magnet for the old Narcs!)
The boyfriend arrived and I was bubbling with excitement telling him everything, he’s not a great believer in anything outside the box but even he said to me that I looked different and seemed a lot happier.
This morning I woke up and the first thing I did was think about 3 things I was grateful for, this is part of the homework exercises. I then lay snuggled in bed thinking “I could do with another day or two off”
An hour later, I was speaking to my friend who I am going to work with and she said they may have to delay my start day for one or two days. This shit IS for real!
For more information on this therapy, please visit the Ora Holistic website, I cannot recommend this enough.