I’ve been feeling a bit “stuck” I guess is the only word I can think to describe it right now. Its like there is so much I want to do, but I am being held back, I’m not even sure what by. Is it me? My lifestyle? I’m feeling quite frustrated but I can’t quite put my finger on it.
Recently, I was doing my usual commute to work. It takes around an hour door to door, half of my journey is spent on the train. I’ve always loved working in London, I’ve been in the city for 16 years now (God I’m old!) The commute has never bothered me and I’ve had many different commutes in that time, including the Central Line, otherwise known as the Greenhouse on wheels. Yet the other day I decided that I wasn’t sure if the city life was for me anymore. I started thinking seriously about my career future. I’ve never wanted to be a big cheese, I had a supervisor role when I was younger and although I am admittedly very bossy, I much prefer to be able to do my job and go home, I could never be someone who works endless hours or takes their job home with them, well at least not this job. I want to feel that passion and excitement that I see in others.
A friend of mine has recently opened her own holistic treatment room. I admire her so much, she has a family, she is the same age as me, she knew what she wanted and she went for it, she took that leap. Her doing this really made me think, what do I enjoy doing? There was only one answer to this, it’s the only thing I have ever enjoyed and that is what I am doing right now. Writing.
My dreams and aspirations have come and gone, when I was in primary school I wanted to be a nurse, since then I have wanted to be an estate agent, a journalist, a hairdresser, a singer and an actress but one thing I have always wanted that has never ever faltered over the years, is to write books. When I was younger I used to “borrow” blank exercise books from school and write stories. I would read books and then have a sequel in my head on what happened to all the characters after. I remember finding a “choose your own adventure book” when I was younger, I was in heaven! All those possible outcomes in one book!! My boyfriend is always amazed at how many books I get through, he’s been reading the same one for months. Reading and writing has always been my passion, I get excited when I have a good idea. Since starting this page I have random thoughts about things I want to write about, it can at times consume me.
My ultimate dream is to make a career out of writing, work from home where I live with my then to be Husband and LOTS of dogs. I just need to make the leap (and time) to do this and get myself unstuck! Any tips on how would be gratefully received!