Am I being unreasonable?
Last night I had a complete meltdown. As I mentioned before, my boyfriend has children who we have every other weekend. Unless we have planned to do something, they like to spend pretty much the entire weekend playing the computer, which incidentally is in my living room. If it’s not the computer it’s watching football, this leaves me four options:
Join them – sometimes I do sit there reading or just feigning interest just to be party to it but it gets tedious really quickly and too noisy to concentrate on reading
Go out – then I feel guilty that I’m not around if they do decide to do something.
Clean the house – there’s only so much cleaning you can do and as soon as I clean it it’s a mess again.
Go and sit in the bedroom – watch my own TV in my room circa 1995
As you can guess, I’m normally sat for 75% of those weekends in my bedroom, like a 15-year-old. At first I didn’t mind but now it’s kind of become the norm and I’m getting pretty fed up with it.
I addressed this with him last week and he acknowledged what I was saying and agreed that when we decorated their rooms we would put the computer upstairs. Then lo & behold Friday came, we all stepped in the door (straight from work) and I ate my dinner to a Lego marvel game. Fun. I went to bed at 8:30 and I’m pretty sure no one even noticed I’d gone.
I took myself off food shopping on Saturday just for a change of scenery & luckily I had a wedding fair to go to on Sunday. I couldn’t wait until next weekend!! We were going to look at a wedding venue on Saturday & had a party on Saturday night & Sunday I was going to sit in my pyjamas all day and cook nice food & just chill out.
My boyfriend had other ideas, he invited his brother over to watch football. There goes my PJ relax day! I was furious, am I invisible? Is it not my house too? I never invite people over without discussing with him first.
Don’t get me wrong I have no issue with his brother coming round but now I’m going to have to spend another afternoon in my poxy bedroom!! Or sit downstairs all afternoon watching football, when all I really wanted for one day is to just be able to chill out in my own home.
I am so upset, my boyfriend thinks I’m being unreasonable but I don’t think it’s too much to ask. I feel totally invisible sometimes, like I’m not even there or not even someone to be considered. I know that he’s not doing it on purpose, he hasn’t got a mean bone in his body, but his thoughtlessness really gets to me.
I didn’t help the situation because I’m a very fiery person and if I’m angry that certainly comes across and as soon as that happens his barriers go up and then there is no hope of resolving things.
So that’s where we are now, nothing resolved and he’s behaving as if everything’s fine, I on the other hand, have barely slept and still feel on the verge of tears.
What do I do?